Loss and Longing through a Godless Queer Chicano Lens
Released on the second anniversary of his mother's unexpected passing during the covid epidemic, Juan Antonio's Objetos de [des]amor is a book of mourning—not just a response to this one moment of grief but a hard look at loss, betrayal, and longing for a stable presence of love and connection that often seems elusive.
As a linguistics professor, Juan Antonio applied the concepts of applied semiotics to fields such as food studies, queer studies and intercultural communication, exploring the languages we create with color, texture, taste, and other carriers of meaning. This book reflects that approach, using the overlapping "languages" of poetry, narrative prose, and photography to examine deeply complex themes and experiences.
The official subtitle of the book is "y ritos de duelo para amores que nunca fueron," referring to a collection of poems in the book that define the rituals of a lifetime of seeking connection and place. Here is the first one.
Men stand in a circle beside the podium,
left hands rest awkwardly on neighboring
polyester-clad shoulders, right arms extend inward
forming a living bassinet that lurches into motion on cue,
more blanket toss than soothing sway; they
bear up the crying newborn as the father speaks—
it is a naming, a collective possessing, a first
pronouncement of roles and duties the
infant cannot understand and will not easily escape:
you will be a man, you will be a missionary,
you will be a husband, father, patriarch.
In eight years this child will step into the baptismal font,
concentric ripples projecting out as a father’s arm
pushes his head under the water;
a metal folding chair awaits for the confirmation,
another circle of men pressing down on wet hair
just a bit harder than is comfortable, and the weight
they exert much more than their physical mass.
Over and over he will sit encircled by men, and
feel those hands pushing, sweating, quivering, claiming
as he is ordained a deacon, teacher, priest, and elder;
he will stand in a circle around a sacred altar and
pantomime his death, the compass mark on his left breast
a warning that an unseen Lord circumscribes all desires
and that his do not fit;
he must leave and draw his own circle.
Not in the mood for the heteronormative spectacle that is Valentine's Day? This may be the book for you! Until February 28 you can get a discounted price of $35.99 on your softcover copy of Objetos de [des]amor or $44.95 for the ultra premium color hardcover edition.
Just click a button to order directly from the distributor, IngramSpark!
Orders at full price are also available through your favorite independent bookseller (Powell's, The Book Bin, etc.)—just search by title, author or ISBN.